


The Cuddle Puddle Protocol

by crazycatt71



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Caring, Chocolate Pudding, Clint is a Good Boyfriend, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Love, M/M, Philint - Freeform, Silly, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Taking care of eachother, Team Cuddles, The team is a family, Tony Is a Good Bro, crackish, cuddle puddle, phil coulson cuddles, stuckony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazycatt71/pseuds/crazycatt71
Summary: Phil is over worked. Clint activates the Cuddle Puddle Protocol. The team springs into action.





	1. Protocol activated

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt like writing some smoopy fluff with the team taking care of an over worked Phil.

Clint woke up to an empty bed. This was nothing new, Phil was often gone by the time he woke up. He was a natural morning person, a fact that made Clint shudder if he thought about it too much, and demands from S.H.I.E.L.D. had Phil’s days starting way too early. Clint rolled over onto his back and stretched, realizing as his arm brushed against Phil’s side of the bed, that it hadn’t been slept in. Clint growled as he got out of bed. This was the third time this week that Phil hadn’t come home from S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and enough was enough. It was time for drastic measures.

Steve was standing at the stove, cooking breakfast, when Clint stormed from the elevator into the kitchen on the communal floor of the Avenger’s tower. Bruce and Bucky sat at the table and Tony was perched on a stool at the breakfast bar, drinking coffee and ogling Steve’s ass.

“I need to activate the Cuddle Puddle protocol.” Clint told them.

All everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

“That’s pretty serious, Legolas,” Tony said, “what’s you reason?”

Clint threw himself onto the chair next to Bruce.

“Phil didn’t come home again last night,” Clint grumbled. “that’s the third time this week. S.H.I.E.L.D. is working him to death.”

“That’s not good.” Steve said as he set a plate of food in front of him. “I agree with Clint, Tony?”

“Jarvis, you heard the man, Agent needs our help, activate the Cuddle Puddle protocol.” Tony commanded.

“Very good, Sir,” the A.I. replied, “and good luck.”

Everybody quickly finished their breakfast, then hurried to the tasks Jarvis assigned them. Steve made sure all of Phil’s favorite snack and drinks were stocked up, Bruce and Bucky stared getting all the pillows and blankets they would need out of the storage room, while Tony and Clint headed to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters to get Phil. They had the really tough job, Phil was not going to give up without a fight, Clint had to talk Tony out of wearing his armor.

“If I get tazed, I will kill you.” Tony informed Clint as they headed into the dull, commonplace building that housed the secret agency, “slowly and painfully, with a dull, rusty knife and a chinchilla.”

“It won’t come to that.” Clint told him as he led the way to Phil’s office, “I have a secret weapon.”

“What?” Tony demanded.

“Fury.” Clint replied as he knocked on the door.

Phil looked up as they walked in, a frown creasing his brow.

“The two of you together is never a good thing.” He said. “What ever you did, I am not fixing it.”

“Agent, I am hurt,” Tony said, clasping a hand to his chest with a wounded expression, “why do you assume we did something that we’d need you to fix?”

“I do not have the time, nor the energy to recite the extensive list of reasons why I would assume you two have been up to no good.” Phil told him. “Now go away, I’m busy.”

“Rude,” Tony told him, “I’m getting the feeling you are not happy to see us. Does it feel like that to you, Robin Hood?”

“I am getting that unwanted feeling.” Clint replied.

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose, counted to five hundred, then exhaled slowly.

“What do the two of you want?” he asked, using every ounce of control he had not to snarl.

“World peace.” Tony quipped.

“Hot, wild sex in a pit of chocolate pudding.” Clint said.

“What?” Tony demanded, staring at him.

“What?” Clint echoed, staring back.

Phil’s patience broke.

“Get out of my office.” He growled as he yanked his desk drawer open and grabbed his taser.

“Rusty knives and chinchillas.” Tony yelped as he leapt behind Clint.

“Sir, we are activating the Cuddle Puddle protocol.” Clint said in his calm, flat, Hawkeye voice.

“What? No?” Phil squawked, his unflappable demeanor gone. “I don’t have time for this, Agent Barton.”

He aimed the taser at Clint. Clint calmly stared at him.

“Sir, if you don’t willingly come with us, I will call Director Fury.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Phil growled.

Clint just stood there, arms crossed, staring at him. Tony peeked around Clint, ducking back when Phil pointed the taser at him. Several minutes passed before Clint started to reach for his phone.

“Fine, damn it.” Phil cursed, throwing his taser back into the drawer and slamming it shut.

Tony hid his grin as he and Clint each took one of his arms and led him from the room. None of them said a word on the ride back to the tower.  Tony left Clint and Phil on their floor with a sloppy salute. Once they were alone, Phil turned to Clint, his body stiff with anger.

“Why?” he demanded.

“I was worried about you.” Clint told him.

“I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself.”

“But you weren’t.” Clint said. “You’re not getting enough sleep or eating proper meals. You have done the same thing when it was me acting this way.”

He grabbed Phil’s arm and pulled him against his chest. Phil resisted for a second, then sighed and wrapped his arms around him.

“I hate it when you are all logical. I can’t argue with you.” He groused.

“I love you.” Clint said with a grin.

“I know.” Phil said. “Do we have to go through the protocol, couldn’t we just hole up here, just the two of us?”

“Once a protocol is activated it must be followed to it’s end.” Clint recited.

“Who made that rule?” Phil asked.

“You did.”

“Damn”

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Following the Protocol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team follows the steps of the protocol.

Clint took Phil’s hand and led him into the bathroom. He turned the water on in the shower then turned to Phil. He carefully removed each piece of Phil’s clothing, folding each item and placing it on the counter before stripping his own clothes off. He tugged Phil into the shower, guiding him under the warm spray. Phil quietly hummed as Clint gently ran a soap lathered sponge over his body.  Clint used the hand held shower nozzle to rinse him off before turning it to the pulse setting and using it to massage his neck and shoulders, causing Phil to groan when the pulse hit an exceptionally tight knot in his neck. Clint washed up, then shut off the water and got out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and handed it to Phil before drying himself off. They pulled on sleep pants and tee-shirts before heading out into the living room.

“Oh Hell.” Phil grumbled when he saw everybody waiting for them in the living room. “Do we really have to this?”

“The Cuddle Puddle Protocol has been activated.” Tony stated with a grin. “Once activated, the protocol must be followed to the end.”

Phil glared at him.

“You are the reason there is a Cuddle Puddle Protocol in the first place.” He grumbled.

“I know.” Tony said, his grin getting bigger. “It’s a weird kind of nice to not be on the receiving end for once.”

Clint kissed Phil to stop him from glaring Tony to death.

“Step one of the protocol: a hot, relaxing shower or bath.” Tony cited.

“Check.” Clint said.

“Step two: a meal with real food; smoothies and coffee are not food Tony.” Tony said.

Everybody but Phil chuckled. Clint led Phil over to the table and held out a chair for him. Everybody sat down and began passing dishes. Phil looked at the food Clint put on his plate. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and rolls, all his favorites. He took a bite and had to struggle not to moan out loud, it tasted so good. He forced himself not inhale his food; slowly chewing each bite. Before he knew it, his plate was empty.

“There’s pie for dessert.” Steve told him.

“Apple?” Phil asked.

Steve nodded. He gave Phil’s arm a squeeze when he placed a piece in front of him, Phil gave a small smile in return. Tony when into the kitchen and came back with the coffee pot.

“Coffee, tea, or me?” he asked with a playful leer.

Phil shook his head at the corny comment, Tony poured him a cup of coffee, grinning like a loon.

“Real food, check.” Tony said. Step three: soothing touching or massage.”

“Definitely a massage,” Clint said, “his neck and shoulders are tighter than a strung bow.”

Phil internally groaned. He wasn’t sure he could relax in front of everybody enough to enjoy a massage. When it was just Clint and him, massages usually led to sexy fun times; he was pretty sure he would have to kill everyone if he ended up with a hard-on in front of the group.

“Can we put the massage on hold for a while?” Phil asked, preferably when he and Clint were alone, he thought. “Just to let the meal settle.”

“Sure,” Clint said, grinning at Phil like he knew what he was thinking. “Step three is suspended. Step four: Doing something fun and relaxing like watching movies or listening to music.”

Phil looked at everyone. They all had such different tastes in music that wasn’t really an option so movies it was. Having made a decision, Phil stood up from the table, only to find himself scooped up into Steve’s arms, carried over to the living room, and gently placed on a plush mattress covered in blankets and pillows that had been arranged in front of the couch.

“What do you want to watch?” Bruce asked, picking up the remote to the huge flat screen t.v.

“I don’t feel like choosing,” Phil said flapping a hand at the t.v., “somebody else decide.”

The others came in and settled around Phil. Clint sat beside him, wrapping an arm around him, holding him against his side. Phil wrapped his arms around Clint’s waist, resting his head on his chest. He closed his eyes and let the sounds from the movie and the others wash over him. He opened his eyes again when he felt Clint move. His head felt foggy and his bladder was uncomfortably full; he must have dozed off. He gave Clint a kiss and stood up.

“Nature call.” He said as he headed for the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror, taking stock of the situation. He’s had a good meal and a nap, that should meet the protocol’s requirements, surly he was ok to go back to work now. He opened the bathroom door and quietly started down the hallway. If he was careful, he could make it to the elevator before anyone knew he was gone.

“You can leave if you want. Nobody will stop you.”

Phil did not jump at the voice, but he did spin around and glare at Tony, who was leaning against the wall, doing something on his phone.

“If you really want to leave, nobody would stop you,” Tony repeated, “but it would hurt Clint knowing you won’t let him take of you the way you take care of him.

He put his phone in his pocket and looked at Phil, his warm, brown eyes filled with kindness.

“He cares about you, we all do.” Tony told him softly. “And you really do not want to be on the receiving end of Steve’s unhappy face.” He shivered at the thought.

Phil stood there, uncertainty flitting through his mind. He had so much work to do but he didn’t want to hurt Clint or the team and Tony was right, he did not to be the cause of Steve’s unhappy face; they were brutally guilt inducing.

“I get it,” Tony said, “that feeling that only you can do it, if you don’t do it, it won’t get done, but you know what,” he moved away from the wall into Phil’s space, pinning him with that intense, all knowing gaze of his, “it will. If you don’t do it somebody else will. You know what nobody else can do? Make Clint and the rest of us happy by letting us take care of you the way you take care of us.”

His eyes softened as he stepped back.

“Your choice.” He said with a shrug.

Phil groaned. He hated that Tony was right. 

“How do you know about this stuff” Phil asked.

“Lots of lessons learned the hard way.” Tony replied.

“Ok, lets get back before anyone realizes how long we’ve been gone.” Phil said.

Tony grinned and turned to go. Phil followed him back to the living room.

“What were you two up too?” Clint asked as they walked in.

“Wild passionate bathroom sex.” Tony told him.

“Never happened.” Clint said.

“How do you know?” Tony demanded.

“You’re walking normal.” Clint told him, grinning at Phil.

Tony sputtered angerly as Phil walked over and gave Clint a kiss.

“Can I get that massage now?” he asked.

“Sure. Take off your shirt and get comfortable.” Clint told him, gesturing toward the mattress

Phil pulled his tee-shirt over his head.

Tony whistled and shouted, “Take it off. Take it all off.”

Phil threw his shirt at him and stretched out on his stomach on the mattress.

Clint lowered himself down until he was straddling Phil’s waist. Soon he was purring as Clint’s strong hands worked all of the knots and tension out of his shoulders and neck. He made a startled sound when he felt someone take his hands. He looked to his left to see Steve rubbing his wrist and arm; turning his head to the right showed Bucky doing the same. Some one pushed his sleep pants up to his knees and two different pairs of hands began kneading his feet. Tony and Bruce his brain fuzzily supplied as he moaned with pleasure.

“Ooooooo….Agent’s making sex noises.” Tony teased.

Phil kicked lazily at him, not caring that he wasn’t even close to making contact, he was too busy melting into a pile of goo. When every muscle in Phil’s body had been liquefied, he managed to roll over on his back. He smiled at the people watching him.

“Step three, check.” Clint said as he leaned into kiss him.

Phil hummed in agreement.

“Step five,” he said, “sleep surrounded by people you love and trust.”

He made come here gestures with his hands. Steve stretched out on his right, holding his arm out. Phil settled against his chest with Clint curled around him. Tony covered them with a blanket, then snuggled up on Steve’s other side. Bucky laid down beside Tony, throwing an arm and leg over him. Bruce fluffed a few pillows before settling down behind Clint. Phil looked at each of them. He was relaxed and safe and loved because of them and beyond a shadow of a doubt he was a lucky man.

“Step four, check.” He whispered.

 

The Cuddle Puddle Protocol

Step one: a hot, relaxing shower or bath.

Step two: a meal with real food; smoothies and coffee are not real food Tony.

Step three: soothing touching or massage.

:Step four: Doing something fun and relaxing like watching movies or listening to music.

Step five: sleep surrounded by people you love and trust.


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Phil asked “What do the two of you want?” in his office in chapter one, Clint answered Hot, wild sex in a pit of chocolate pudding.”  
> This happened because of that.

A week after  he had activated the Cuddle Puddle Protocol, Clint came back to his rooms at the tower to find the most amazing and unbelievable sight waiting for him in the middle of the living room. All the furiture had been pushed against the walls to make room for a kiddie wading pool with Phil sitting in it. Clint stood perfectly still, just staring.

"Are you naked?" 

Phil cocked an eyebrow.

"Why don't you come find out." He replied.

Clint's life was filled with weirdness, some bad, some good. He was pretty sure this was some of the good kind so he just went with it. He walked over to the pool, stopping as a strange smell reached him. He looked down into the pool, stunned.

"Is that chocolate pudding? Are you sitting naked in a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding?" He squeaked. "Why are you sitting naked in a kiddie pool full of chocolate pudding?"

"Because I couldn't find a pit full of the stuff." Phil told him like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

The gears in Clint's brain turned very slowly, he was destracted by a naked Phil in a pool of chocolate pudding, anybody's brain would be mush at that sight, but he eventually remembered the answer he had flippently given when Phil had asked what he and Tony wanted the day he had activated the Cuddle Puddle Protocol. He stared at Phil, scared this was a dream and if he moved it would end.

"Agent Barton, if you arn't naked and in this pool with me in ten seconds I'm calling Stark, I'm sure he'd enjoy this."

Clint stripped and dove into the pool. Phil grabbed him and kissed him. Clint moaned, chasing the taste of chocolate in Phil's mouth with his tonuge. When they had to break for air, Clint rested his head on Phil's shoulder, breathing in the combined sent of chocolate and Phil. His life was full of weirdness and he wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
